Friday, January 15, 2010

Harry Potter is Awful

I'm not ashamed to admit that I spent the $5 and rented the new Harry Potter. I saw the first movie with my niece, and one of the other ones with my sister. I was mildly entertained by the first one, but the other my sister and I walked out of the theatre and went home about 3/4 in out of boredom. I rented the new one because I went to the video store determined to rent a movie and had seen everything that I was remotely interested in seeing. I decided to test run the new Harry Potter to see if the franchise had improved and it sucked. I didn't even watch the ending. I tuned out when the old guy was trying to drink the potion.

When I'm asked "do you believe in magic" my answer is always no. Anything claiming to be real magic is nothing more than advanced alchemy, like Tweed trying to turn buttermilk into gold in Teddy Ruxpin. Be it the manipulation of light, a slight of hand, a chemical formula, or something of the sort, I do not believe that "magic" exists. The only magic I believe in is that which exists in my scrotum, and that can be explained through science. Most alleged magic is bullshit, and Penn and Teller are among the best at calling a spade a spade. So perhaps my "closed mind" to magic excludes me from the target Harry Potter audience, unlike my friend who attended the premiere dressed as a Wizard.

Since I think the movie is crap, I will not post a link to purchase the film through my Amazon Associates Account. It sucks, don't buy it, and don't rent it. If your child enjoys it, then I do not oppose them watching it. Free will is a bitch, and at the very least it can inspire imagination in our youth. I am not without empathy at the wrongful persecution of Alchemists at the hand of the medieval Catholic Church. I don't want to alienate Conservative Catholics, but I will point out that the Vatican has several skeletons in their closet. A number of ancestors in my attic were militant Protestants circa the 17th century United Kingdom. As a History minor at University, I took a course in the Catholic Reformation which required two term papers on subjects of our choosing; my first was on the Spanish Inquisition and the second was on Humanism (with the subtitle "I'm a fan of man"). That was 10 years ago. I earned a B in the course.

Magic does not exist and the Harry Potter films blow. But if they can get your toddler to shut up for a few hours, it is worth it, regardless of how you feel about the franchise.

9 comments:

  1. If you think Harry Potter is about Magic you have not taken a critical look. That is just the hook to get children to explore very important themes. How about racism, how about individual rights, how about how government is corrupt and can direct or collude with media to spread false information, how about how to reject and passively and aggressively fight fascism. Harry potter may be many things but it is not about Magic as you so simply assert.

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  2. Do I detect a bit of atrophy in the "Suspension of Disbelief" muscles here?

    The books are better of course, but then that is always the case imo.

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  3. So the movie about magic is not even about magic? It is about a socialist hero fighting evil fascist dictators?

    Boy, I sure didn't see that one coming...

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  4. Harry Potter is about magic and magic and magic and more rubbish magic. I agree with you on something after a VERY LONG TIME.

    The movie to watch this year is "Avatar" and watch it in the best 3-D theatre in your area. Forget the analogy about Left and Right wing politics as is clearly apparent in the movie. Just watch it for the cinematic wonder that it is. Avatar will run away with most of the next academy awards.

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  5. Maria, welcome back! The prodigal extinct pigeon has returned!

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  6. Rent the movie 9 - not the one about an Italian film director and nine women. It is an animated film (I don't usually like animated films) which really blew my mind.

    Christopher Plummer does the voice for the bishop character. See it in one setting in a dark room and don't invite young kids. If you have blu-ray, so much the better.

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  7. Bah humbug, Iceman. Must be a biatch to live with your atrophied imagination. What constitutes a good movie to you? Fahrenheit 911? Roger and me? An inconvenient truth? You sound like a run-of-the-mill humourless socialist. Time to drop your bloggingtories pretensions.

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  8. There is such a thing as magic but small minds cannot fathom it.

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  9. My Atrophied Imagination? That's very creative, may I borrow it as the title of my first book?

    I prefer Lord of the Rings.

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