Sunday, January 10, 2010

Liberal Cost Cutting Ideas

With the Liberal Party desperate for money and support, rolling out these pathetic Pennysaver ads; I decided to embrace what little empathy I feel and think up with some marketing and cost cutting ideas. I'm just trying to spread the wealth! For example they could sell Stephane Dion to Europe for carbon credits, then turn around and sell the carbon credits for a profit.  Surely nobody in the Liberal caucus still wants him around, and if they could sell him to Europe for a profit, why not do it?

Given the substantial cost of living and travel for MPs, it would be fiscally and democratically responsible if MPs lived in their offices. Honestly to have a healthy democracy, our elected officials should never leave the building. By doing this the Liberals would not only save money on mortgages and rent, but they would not be burning carbon while getting to work, saving lives.

Instead of the pricey upscale cocktail parties bleeding money from donors, they need to shift to $20 a head all you can drink keg parties. They may even be able to turn a healthy profit. Granted, if the Liberal Party gave up alcohol all together, think of how many millions of dollars they could save? If all else fails, they could just start a ponze scheme. My past observations of the LPC as a governing party suggests to me that they would be extremely effective at the ponze scheme business.

They could also abolish their marketing wing all together and replace it with Liberal Youth Photoshops?

Or they could have a "rent-A-MP" where people bid to have Liberals come work as day labourers to the highest bidder. You could have Bob Rae clean up your garage and shovel your driveway. How much would a Rae day be worth, $10? $5?  For an extra $2, Bob will come with a cue ball stuffed in his mouth like Pulp Fiction.

Does anyone else have any ideas?  I will likely make a webpoll about this.

4 comments:

  1. A$20 dollar "all you can drink kegger" would be a good idea as long as John McCallum wasn't there. That would put a real dent in the profit.

    Rob C

    ReplyDelete
  2. How about a PBS style pledge drive?

    ReplyDelete
  3. They could harnass the hot air coming out of Bob Rae and sell it to heat homes?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hire out Bennet and Fry to eves drop on your neighbours.

    Hire out the killjoy Mark Holland to university towns that have a problem with rowdy student parties. Once that guy shows up the air goes out of the room and the parties over, problem solved.

    ReplyDelete